SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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