we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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