Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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