A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
