In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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