remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's rum buckets o'clock
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
