I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize