so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
