he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
