I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize