If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
