I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
