I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
