I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
