i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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