Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
