Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
