I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize