I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize