what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
