If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
