This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
