Will you blow on my dice?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
