Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
