I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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