You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
