If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
