watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Someone came in the potted fern
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
