I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
