He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
