For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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