I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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