can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
