dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
