I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
