When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it was like eating out sand paper
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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