it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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