Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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