cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
