Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
