your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
