Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
