You're completely useless in the revolution.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
