The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
