fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
