I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
