a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
