i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
