Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
