I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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