reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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