The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
