Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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