he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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