you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
