kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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