How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
