I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
