I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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