i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
