it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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