To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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