Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
