his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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